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Museum Mysteries

Museum Mysteries

Following last week’s discovery of a tiny pair of shoes hidden in the eaves of a 16th century cottage in Church Lane in Stonking, High Street resident Artimus Piles has…

Primary School Panned For Removing Loo Roll From Kids’ Toilets

Primary School Panned For Removing Loo Roll From Kids’ Toilets

Parents are flushed with anger over a primary school’s decision to remove loo roll from the children’s toilets. Pupils at Stonking Village School now have to put their hands up…

Couturier’s Cloth Is Cut In Court

Couturier’s Cloth Is Cut In Court

Months of suspicion and fear in a local village finally came to an end yesterday with the conviction of the man who waged a hate campaign against his neighbours. Retired…

Long Arm of the Law Gets Shortened

Long Arm of the Law Gets Shortened

Soon-to-retire P.C. Albert World marked the end of his tenure as Stonking’s resident police force by regaling a Village Hall audience with his favourite memories of being the village’s bobby.…

Bolted In The Belfry

Bolted In The Belfry

A prominent local JP has been discovered in a potentially compromising encounter with an attractive fellow villager after a prankster locked them in the belltower of St Andrews Church in…

Flak attack on SnackAttack (or Burghers Bothered By Burgers)

Flak attack on SnackAttack (or Burghers Bothered By Burgers)

The village of Stonking is renowned for its picturesque High Street, its Twelfth century church, its beautiful village pond and its regular success in the Best Kept Village contest. In…

Hate Campaign Against Stonking Resident

Hate Campaign Against Stonking Resident

Stonking resident Seymour Tracks has been left reeling by an apparent hatemail campaign directed against him for being on long-term sick leave. He himself has received a letter branding him…

2018 Valentine’s Poem Winner

2018 Valentine’s Poem Winner

The Stonking Herald is proud to announce the winner of this year’s Valentine’s Poem Award – it’s a poem by village postman Bob the Stamp entitled ‘The Seven Wonders of…

Christmas Lights Backlash

Christmas Lights Backlash

When Stonking residents Hazel and Roger Hound decided to brighten their new home with Christmas lights, they did not expect their new neighbours to treat like them dogs in the…

Reckless Rent Rise Row

Reckless Rent Rise Row

Stonking butcher Basil Chives is reeling after being told that the rent for his High Street premises is to increase by a massive 40% this autumn. Mr Chives (who recently…

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