Stonking publican Rab Selwyn is looking to tickle the taste buds of more than just his regular drinkers by launching a monthly Gourmet Night at his pub. The landlord of The Rancid Polecat says that if the evenings are a success then he will aim to hold them on a more regular basis in the restaurant of what has variously been described as ’the best pub in Stonking’ and ’the only pub in Stonking’.
“Stonking still doesn’t have a licensed restaurant,” explained Selwyn, “and there are plenty of discerning punters who want something a little more adventurous than routine pub grub – even if the pub grub we serve is, though I say so myself, of an epicurean splendour. So we are aiming to fill that gap by hosting evenings when the foodies amongst us can indulge their appetites in a cosy environment amongst like-minded people, by feasting on fine food at a price that won’t make their pockets cry. What do you mean, not like our pub grub, then???”
The Polecat will hold its first Gourmet Night this Saturday, 21st May with a theme based around Mediterranean Country Cooking. Despite the fact that neither he nor his wife has visited the Mediterranean, Selwyn believes they can still reproduce authentic fare from the region – ”we both like pasta and moussaka : sometimes at the same time!”
I asked them if they would be serving al fresco. “So long as he makes a booking, then we’d be happy to!”
We asked Stonking residents whether they would be interested in Gourmet Nights at the Rancid Polecat :
Resting railway worker Seymour Tracks : “I can’t really apprehend all this fashionation for fancy nosh. I mean, Gromit Night? What’s that all about then? And where’s Wallace, that’s what I want to know! I’m a simple man – no, I am, really – and I don’t like my mutton dressed as ram. What’s wrong with pate and chips and soup in the basket, that’s what I want to know…..How dare you suggest such a thing; this is only my ninth!”
Village JP and self-styled bon vivant Dudley Town-Centre : “Just what we need – an epicurean oasis in this culinary desert of a village. About time there was somewhere selling some top-notch fodder. You can bet your life I shall be there, filling the old nosebag, what? Hopefully old Rab will employ some bouncy fillies as waitresses too – help to provide some atmosphere. Don’t suppose you’d be available to work there, would you? I’d slip you a bloody good tip. Indeed, play your cards right and I’d slip you the whole bloody thing!”
Resting rester Abel Batchelor : “Oh; they do food down the Rancid Polecat, do they?”